Finding myself again

I became a mom when I was 19 years old, I was still figuring out who I was when my world changed and from that moment my life revolved around being a mother. For nearly 18 years I’ve been a full-time mom. No breaks, no pauses just love, responsibility, sacrifices and showing up every single day.. and somewhere along the way I stopped existing as anything else, I was mom and only mom.

For a long time I didn’t question that, being “just mom” felt like what I was supposed to be and I’ve loved being a mom. My needs came last, if they came at all. I didn’t make space for myself because I didn’t believe I needed to and over time I started feeling lost. I didn’t know exactly what I was missing, I only knew there was something missing. 
That’s when the gym entered my life, or it’s been there always but never something I prioritized, but as soon as I started to make time for it the gym became a place to breathe and just be ME. 

When I went through stuff in life it gave me clarity and the noise quieted. It soften doubts and helped me believe in myself. The gym became the one place where I wasn’t mom, I was just me.
I don’t really do things without my kids, last time I had a babysitter to do something for me was 1 year and a month ago today. It’s not always easy being a single mother of 6 kids, there is always someone that needs something but I love that part of my life and just having those moments at the gym, that are mine, gives me a moment to sort my thoughts, catch my breath and it makes me a better mom.

I’m so grateful that I found something outside of motherhood didn’t take away from my role as a mom, I will always be a mom first but I am also more than that and in the gym I found the space to remember and reclaim who I am.

XOXO / C